It's true, I've been lacking in my blogs and letting the side down - I apologise for this!
So it's halloween and tonight I shall probably scare myself shitless watching a low-budget american horror movie. I don't know why I put myself through it. I like to think I love scary stuff, but it soon becomes apparent - I am the biggest pansy in the world. I man myself up before...then spend the whole film with my hands covering my eyes. I just don't like it when something makes me jump - that's understandable right?
It's when the film is over that the fear kicks in. I lay there, in bed, having my own mini-competition with myself to see how long it takes me to turn the light on!
I lay there. Start sweating then realise I can't actually breathe because my head is so buried into the duvet covering it. I make a little hole - so I don't suffocate myself and breath as quiet as possible so the devil doesn't know where I'm hiding. I make up stories in my head. It gets to the point where I'm almost 100% certain Bloody Mary and The Candy Man are standing at the foot of my bed. I work up the courage to stick out my sweaty hand and try to find my bedside lamp switch as fast as friggin' possible. This moment in time is a risky one. It has the potential to end in tears. My hand could get chopped off. Or eaten by the Boogie Man. I think I'd be pretty tasty to be fair - who would blame him!
The minute the light is on...all is well. Just a sweaty bed and hair stuck to my sticky forehead. Delightful!
I miss being younger, when my mum would throw amazing halloween parties and make her traditional 'Spider Bread'. I had the best childhood and halloween was no exception. Our dining room would be turned into a witches lair - with binbags hung from the ceiling with cobwebs everywhere. A sign would be hung up on the door saying 'enter at your own risk' - which we did in style! I was often a witch. I always remember thinking I looked bloody cool. I probably looked like a twat. One year, we walked in and my mum had dressed my grandmother up as a witch and plonked her in the corner. I'm pretty sure it made some of my friends cry. Cruel, cruel family! Brilliant though!
It's funny how things change. When you're younger, you wear as many layers as possible to make your costumes look authentic and better than all your friends. Then as you get older - they all fall off, until you go out clubbing dressed up as a half-dead slut. It's true. Halloween is now an excuse to look like a slag for the night. But it's okay though - you know - if you put blood on your neck and draw dark circles round your eyes.
Not guna lie, I've done it. To be fair, it wasn't that bad. I was a cat. I wore black tights too - which instantly makes me less prostitute looking. I'm really not getting at anyone by the way. It's just the way it is! To be fair, you probably would look pretty stupid dancing away wrapped in toilet roll.
Well, that's me over and out for another night!
But before I go - I just want to thank everyone for reading! I'm getting lots of views from all over the world which makes me smile!
Also wanted to say HI to all my lovely work friends who are THE BEES KNEES.
Have a good night all! Hope the ghouls don't get you - but if they do - sucks to be you.
x
No comments:
Post a Comment