1. I resemble this guy at this moment....
...who has potentially ran head first into this
with these dudes added to the mix...
2. My throat often feels as dry as this...
3. Whilst in conversation I have the memory of a...
4. The cold sweats during the night wake me up
thinking I need to purchase some of these badboys...
5. I am eating alot more & soon may look like this.
6. My legs do this whenever I sit still...
...and it hurts :(
Again, my days have been consisting of going through books - in my attempt at self-treatment- working hand in hand with the 'pros' im seeing...
I would like to share with you just some of the highlighted parts of my books....
Whether or not you have a mental illness such as Bipolar or Borderline Personality Disorder - or are just finding life a little tricky...I hope you find comfort in them.
"When you decide it's worth your time, peace of mind, and future happiness to come to grips with your illness by seeking treatment, the payoff will be immense. You'll be stronger when you're in control. You'll be healthier when you've balanced your moods to stay sane. You'll be poised to rebuild your life with inner calm, peace and joy"
"The mind is a powerful force. Positive thoughts can fuel your hopes, turn your dreams into reality and facilitate your desire to feel love. Negative thoughts do just the opposite. They can be destructive and self defeating, and undermine your progress."
"Acceptance allows you to close the door on the darkness and begin to see just how bright your life will be"
"Having a mental illness can be isolating and emotionally traumatic. You're likely to feel alone at various points in your journey, particularly when you're first grappling with the diagnosis. Developing a support network of individuals who understand and accept that you have a real disease with real symptoms that need real attention is of paramount importance in moving forward. The people around you can make all the difference in the world to your emotional stability and physical well-being."
"When people know and accept themselves they're ready to draw others into their sphere. And you can become that open, confident, giving person by looking inward and reaching out.When you accept and position yourself for love, you can find it. You can succeed. There is someone who will appreciate you for you."
"Negativity hurts the quality of your life and the lives of others. When the weight of the world is parked squarely on your shoulders, you're not able to move freely. You're not able to love. You're not able to support the people supporting you. Hope, on the other hand, can help you change the course of your disease. It allows you to press forward, make plans, and even overcome obstacles in your path. You can do anything you set your mind to when you trust that there will be a better day, that you'll achieve normalcy and that you can have a future"
"No matter how dark it is, you can still find a sliver of light. No matter where your life is, you can still help and encourage others whilst being empowered by them. By opening your mind and your heart, you also open a new chapter. Imagine the new story it might hold!"
I am determined to turn things around....
- Introducing structure
- Adjusting my attitude
- Accepting myself
- Changing my emotional channel
- Setting goals
- Forgiving the past
- Embracing the present
- Introduce healthy lifestyle choices - good diet etc.
I will meditate. I will try yoga. I will repeat words in the mirror.
I will eat blueberrys. I will have positive trigger thoughts. I will shower my body with essential oils!
In the words of my psychiatrist (who I still dislike & reminds me of a snake that has been turned into a man -but still possesses serpent-like entities)
.... I am going to stabilise my moods - from the self-loathing anxious lows of depression to curbing the obviously apparent impulsive decisions I make during the opposite.
Can I take this time to thank everyone for liking my photography facebook page. On days shadowed by the bleak & unknown ... it's the silver lining to my cloud. It would make my sun shine brighter if you were to like it too... if you haven't already :)
I'm afraid I've lost the battle with Quetiapine tonight. My legs are twitching and if I go on any longer...I'll be propping my eyes open with sticks. It's strange how I used to long to feel tired. Laying in bed for hours, with a conscious mind travelling to and from here, there & everywhere. An over powered brain, fueled by endless thoughts. But now, this tiredness is wrapping my body in an oversized heavy weight duvet - that's too heavy to be comfortable. A bittersweet relief. I'll leave you lightheartedly with this
"Life is a wonderful mystery to be lived,
not just a series of problems to be solved"
x
lol. sounds like some of my days.
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain, and should be sleeping myself, but alas, the internets need all of my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteIt's a pity, but you can always turn things around. courage
ReplyDelete