Monday, 4 February 2013

Another week.

Good evening! Another week is upon us...as is February - rolling in with its windy skies.
Everything is still passing by without me. I'm still in my own world of daydreams, lost souls & blank expressions. My meds are being upped tomorrow & I have another trip to the clinic to look forward to - Oh! Hear my sarcasm roar. Side effects so far have been recognisable, but as the 'early days' cliche calls out to me - not alot good nor bad is happening yet. We'll see what happens.
My body has been feeling heavy & the invisible weight pulling me down is still very much keeping up appearances. This afternoon the inescapable happened and my small tired eyes filled up. As my unwelcome tears fell, I lay - still in my pajamas - feeling vulnerable to the world. My mum, of course, comforted me & I soon wiped away the trickles on my face & was left only with a tear-dampened pillow.
It's hard to only focus on my journey to stability & happiness. It becomes almost impossible to not think about the outside world. How it's passing me by. How others are on different paths - doing just the everyday simple things. I know that it's 100% within my reach to be doing that too...& that right now, this is my everyday life. I just cannot help but think about life without the unbalanced bother within my brain! How things might be different...

"These things are sent to try us"

Soon things will change. All i can do is battle through it & wait patiently. Who knows whats around the corner?

So I intend to start my daily routines soon. Apparently it's essential & a key factor in regaining mental health. I've been going over all my books - attacking them with the highlighter pen!

Green - Positive Quotes
Pink -  Self-help treatments
Orange - General

I intend to cover one wall in my bedroom with all things self-medicating! A fusion of creativity, positivity, help & routines. From times to pop my pills...to motivational movements. A wall full of structure, calming methods and triggers! I'm doing the homework...

On Saturday, I took my mind away from the emotional bubble I'm cocooned in...
I headed to London, with my trusty camera at the ready. Photography has proven to be a savior. For when I am looking through the lens, my eyes are only open to what I want to see. My positioning, my edits, my decisions. Like I've blogged about before... it's undeniably important to have an outlet. Something that dusts away the cobwebs within ones brain... or stores every thought into a filing cabinets. For during that time - everything is forgotten. You are free from restraints. Nothing holds you down. It's just you & your passion.















Whilst in London, I came across a very talented musician. What a breath of fresh air to see this written upon the place you would normally throw your change to buskers...


So what did I do? I liked him on facebook.... This is someone else who is following their dreams... doing everything possible to get what they want. To my followers, readers & "google+ers" .... I urge you to like him too :) http://www.facebook.com/archideephimself 


Keep smiling 

x
                             

2 comments:

  1. Hello, Crisi: I enjoy your Blogs. I believe we all at least one gift or talent that we can use to heal ourselves and help get past the 'demons'. You obviously use your talents of photography. i use writing. I did go to the site you recommended and 'liked' his facebook page. Keep moving forward, my friend!

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  2. Interesting photos and stories, Crisi!

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