I've never really known what I've wanted from life. I've always just sort of gone with the flow. I've made some almighty decisions and have often been a little rapid with my choices. I don't know what relevance this has. I'm unaware as to why I have spoken about it. My mind has run away with itself a step to far and blanked out on me. I guess it just comes to a point where we have to accept what's happened. I could sit for hours, devoting myself to 'what ifs'. Absent minded to anything other than my imagination throwing itself through a lost land of 'should haves & maybes'.
We can't live like that.
Even the inescapable feelings must be banished. The ones you fear will never leave. 'What ifs' must not sit comfortably within us. They must quietly go. The unthinkable can always happen.
Once they do, nothing is destroyed. Your eyes can open to the existent...and not the 'once was'.
You aren't human if you have the ability to do this straight away. Sometimes it takes a while to realise.
Life can be like a painting. A celebrated, familiar creation. For an artist will spend years striving for perfection and yet never find beauty through the flaws. As an outsider, we can only see accomplishment and excellence. Every attribute to the painting, makes it what it is. Every brushstroke, every misjudged placement of the paintbrush, every cover up & every colour.... to the world it is unspoiled & faultless. To the artist, it's something different.
For life is beautiful, if we accept it for what it is. Our painting may have been a persistent struggle to complete... and some, including mine...are far from finished. But accepting our artwork, overcoming the misprints and battling through the paint drips....makes us who we are. Be an artist and take pride in your painting.
x
We can't live like that.
Even the inescapable feelings must be banished. The ones you fear will never leave. 'What ifs' must not sit comfortably within us. They must quietly go. The unthinkable can always happen.
Once they do, nothing is destroyed. Your eyes can open to the existent...and not the 'once was'.
You aren't human if you have the ability to do this straight away. Sometimes it takes a while to realise.
Life can be like a painting. A celebrated, familiar creation. For an artist will spend years striving for perfection and yet never find beauty through the flaws. As an outsider, we can only see accomplishment and excellence. Every attribute to the painting, makes it what it is. Every brushstroke, every misjudged placement of the paintbrush, every cover up & every colour.... to the world it is unspoiled & faultless. To the artist, it's something different.
For life is beautiful, if we accept it for what it is. Our painting may have been a persistent struggle to complete... and some, including mine...are far from finished. But accepting our artwork, overcoming the misprints and battling through the paint drips....makes us who we are. Be an artist and take pride in your painting.
x
Like your quilt of many colors here and your analogy of a painting, I like my piece of art. It is who I am. It represents the total me. All the physical abuse, starvation, and deprivation as a child took away my innocence. But it formed the real me. I am a success and not a mistake on the canvas of life. I am strong. I am determined. I am good. I now share my life through my novel "The Shade Tree Choir". Thanks for your Blog. I will read more when you post. Good Luck!
ReplyDeleteNice post. I can relate quite closely to your writing.
ReplyDeleteI have to say this is a beautiful post; I strongly identify with your words. Thinking too much towards the uncertain can be damaging indeed. I must admit, I am always in "what ifs". It's a depressing situation; nothing's ever clear. I am quite the perfectionist and suffer a difficult time while I strive to achieve "perfection". Posts like this remind me that sometimes I can be too hard on myself. I do the best I can, sometimes beyond my limits, sometimes with tears and frustration. Flaws are important as well; they express humanity in itself. There is nothing more important than the versatility of emotions, morals, and values. That's what beautiful about art. Every piece is "human", yet unique.
ReplyDeleteThis is an excellent post which I will be sharing with my world. Best of success for you, and keep on writing!