Progress.

Good evening!

Well, the sun came out today - literally & metaphorically. I most definitely had a better day. Not all my thoughts were clouded with troubled raindrops & no thunderstorm came my way. The evenings are always worse, but so far...I feel something may be changing. Nothing particularly good has happened. Infact everything is still very much the same. I simply managed to wake up this morning, look in the mirror and smile. Hurrah. Progress.

Blocking out negative thoughts has proven to be anything but easy. I'm almost certain some won't ever leave my body. They are trapped within a messy lair of all things misery. The steps I am taking, however, WILL change this - and even though it's an undeniable fact - bad days are going to happen - they will never be as low as the ones I have faced.

I truly believe I almost forgot what it felt like to be happy. I can't remember exactly when my 'depressive episode' started. I think for a while I was in a mixed state. Swinging between highs & lows, not even I could keep up. Unavoidably, the unwanted feelings I had tried so hard to not surrender too - came back. The old familiar feeling of complete sadness stole my body... persistent to not give in. I threw down my sword and let it happen. It was clear I should have fought harder the last time for a more accurate diagnosis, then perhaps this road of devastation would not have been walked down. But atleast now - I know it can only get better.

There's no denying I still have uninvited feelings possessing my body. I know they will stick around for a while, but in time I hope they become a distant memory - rather than a reminder.


Can I take the time again now to thank the sincere, incredible people who are completing me right now. Some people I don't even know....and the loyal faces that continue to show there honest heartfelt support.
The genuine sincerity of people can make a gloomy day positively bright. So thankyou.

Remember to hold the important things close to your heart. x