Don't be afraid.

Wow, today I woke up to over 400 more views on here ....than what I had last night! Truly thankful to Denise Welch (Loose Women) for retweeting the link to my blog on her twitter. She too has traveled a mental health recovery journey and is now working hard to 'beat the stigma'

I thought I would go back a fews steps, just for new readers to catch up...
Firstly, here's a link to a post I wrote a while back http://alittlefeisty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/a-story.html

My world changed from the age of about 17. Everyday pressures got the better of me. Paranoia and anxiety kicked in. Self hate & self doubt chained itself around my body and swallowed the key. As I grew older.. I was literally a roller-coaster of a human being. Except sometimes, it felt like my safety bar had been forgotten about. I wasn't strapped safely into my seat & had no control over which way I was flung. As if I was clinging on daily to some sort of normality. My moods changed uncontrollably. I no longer became able to 'shrug it off'. My body and brain rejected any form of self- reasoning & I found myself flicking between lands of excitment, impulse and motivation - to worlds of depression, darkness and doom.

It's only recently that I have started talking about my years with the self-destruct button turned on! No longer could it be kept hidden. Of course, admitting my problems was the hardest thing. Talking to what seems like hundreds of professionals, over & over - is physically & mentally draining. But in the long run - I know it's most definitely going to be worth it. I still have moments where I think 'No, this can't be happening to me... I'm fine'. Countless times I have looked at my box of pills and thought 'Do I really need you?' But the honest answer is yes. Yes it is happening & yes I need them. It's not a weakness and it's nothing to be ashamed of. Being frightened is natural. But being brave is better...

Face the fear and kick it's butt.

Sometime's the hardest thing, is the fear of rejection and belief. We keep ourselves locked up, incase we are labelled as 'attention seeking', incase our real life and very real illness is not accepted. I've been there & felt it. Hold it within yourself and take pride in the fact that you have been strong enough to overcome the small minded folk. Never forget, that just as you would take medication for diabetes or seek help if you become life-threateningly ill - YOU are allowed to feel worthy of getting help for this too. Just because the illness isn't something you can see or remove, doesn't make it any less real. This has become all the more obvious after I was recently in hospital following an episode. A reminder of just how serious it can be. Be courageous. Medications, side effects, meetings, therapy, psychiatrists and life style changes .... are all but small things compared to the beautiful life you could live.

You can't change the past. But the future can be worked on :)
Thankyou for all the views and follows. It means everything to me! For I too.. am just a 23 year old girl trying to find my place in this crazy world.

I shall post some links to a few previous posts that I enjoyed writing :)
Love Crisi x

A painting...
http://alittlefeisty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/a-painting.html

A hero...
http://alittlefeisty.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/a-hero.html

The good things...
http://alittlefeisty.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/the-good-things.html

A dream come true
http://alittlefeisty.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/a-dream-come-true.html

Inspirational?
http://alittlefeisty.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/inspirational.html

.....Have a look in the side panel for more :) Have a great day!

x