Sunday 28 October 2012

Wanting to punch a stranger...

I'm feeling pretty full up right now. Fact.
I've eaten to the point of self combustion, so if no-one hears from me tomorrow - you know it's the chicken, roast potatoes and a cheeky conetto that did it. I have a food baby growing inside me. If I make it through the night, I'll definitely be having a fat day tomorrow. 
I also ate asparagus. It's true, it makes your wee smell. It's been confirmed. Just to assure people, I don't stick my head between my legs whilst on the loo trying to get the veggie aroma. It's that potent, you can just smell it. This also happens with sugar puffs. I've yet to find another food source that leads to stinky urine,but if anyone knows of any - inform me.

Recently, I've been having a Harry Potter marathon. I love that kid. I've been thinking of carving my halloween pumpkin into the wizard himself. It may end up looking like 'Wheres Wally' with a dodgy line on his forehead though. I'll give it a miss and go with the original wide eyed & stitched up mouth look instead. 

Harry Potter is a cool fella though. If only all us 'muggles' could appreciate his awesomeness. Pretty sure I've got the hots for Voldemort too. He does need a manicure and sunbed, but I'm 100% certain I'd look good on his arm. I think it's his power. Minus the need to kill, I reckon he's the Simon Cowell of the wizarding world. Power, bad dress sense, feared by most, intent on making himself look good...

I've also done that awful thing today. We've all done it. It doesn't happen very often - unless you're a complete prick. It's that terrible habit of wanting to punch a complete stranger. It may not even be a stranger. Someone on tv or in the public eye. That you do not know and will never know but you hate them. ALOT.
I do feel terrible for feeling this way sometimes. They haven't necessarily done anything wrong. I am very much against judging people before I know them and tend to love anyone and everyone. But shit the bed, I get angry. It's no-one I know personally. Before anyone panics. He's on the tele! AND I WANT POKE HIM IN THE EYE. I'm sure he is nice...under all the bullshit. (Excuse my language family members)
I reckon most people have felt this way at some point. It happens. People probably think it about me. That's fine. I don't like you either ;)

I thought I'd finish with another amusing story. Well, it's not really a story - more of 'happening'.
A long time ago, when I was younger, I swallowed two pieces of Hubba Bubba. It's bubble gum for those who aren't 'down with the kids'! It was a pretty horrific moment in time. I honestly thought I was going to die. I slept sitting up straight for about year, in fear of my airways blocking up. Turns out - I was fine. 

Well, this left me with a complex about choking on things. Especially - when I'm asleep. Touch wood, this hasn't happened for a while now. But a few years ago, I went through a phase of thinking I had swallowed things whilst sleeping. Don't laugh, this is traumatic. I'd wake up in the night and be absolutely certain that I had swallowed my mobile phone. It would take about half an hour for me to realise - as big as my mouth is.. I wouldn't be able to do that - false alarm - go back to sleep you actual idiot! It happened with all sorts - hair bands, hair clips... I have even woken up thinking I had eaten my watch and that my stomach was ticking like the crocodile in Peter Pan. It's true. I have issues. It got to the point where I would have to hide everything on my bedside table, so I would know I haven't picked anything up and gobbled it away. I was reassured by the fact that all that was left was my lamp. I would definitely know if I had swallowed that beast! Waking up to a big 'lamp - shaped' tummy with a light shining out of my belly button. I'd be a new member of the teletubbies 'chokey wokey'. 

On that note. I'm off to put my pajamas on. 

Thanks again to everyone reading my blog, appreciate all these views!
x



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