The end?

It's pretty late - or early morning, you choose!
Obviously, I cannot sleep which is standard for me. I could spend my days in bed...but sleeping does not come naturally. I must start setting my routine times soon, to help with everything. So a shut down time & a rise and shine time. Setting routines is suppose to massively help the effects of a mental illness. I may create a board to hang on my wall...and title it "ROUTINE FOR NUTTERS". Oh humour, you babe.

It's been a varied evening. I ended up walking for a while. It wasn't as if I had lots of energy. I just needed to vent some of my frustrations. There's been a real mix of emotions going on tonight! I'm not quite sure what state of mind I am in right now. I can't put my finger on it.

I do however, know that I am battling with my anger. This very moment in time - I am hacked off & almost buzzing from the annoyance growing inside me! I think I might actually laugh. It's nothing serious. Pretty much the same thing as what I was writing about yesterday. Weirdo Wannabes. Actually - it's definitely the same thing as I was writing about yesterday. The tension inside me is building and I will burst! Anger is a funny thing isn't it. Especially when it is mixed with other emotions. Recently I have found it hard to hide my anger. If I feel it - you'll hear me roar.

So, as it is now the 20th 1:12am (Happy Birthday Dad) December. I would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone. The world will be ending as we know it tomorrow. Lol.
It's pretty comical. I know! There's the true believers out there, that have built arks & then there's the total non-believers who think it's all a load of complete shite.
I'm somewhere in the middle. I have done a fair amount of research. Don't get me wrong though ....I'm not a complete alien obsessed, apocalyptic, scientific, Mayan worshiper. I just love things like that!

AND

I do believe the world is ending....as we know it.
But
I do not think the world will end tomorrow. 

However if it does. Which it won't. I would like to say a few words before the world is wiped out. Which it won't be.

This has the potential to sound morbid. So imagine them in a different, non apocalyptic way.

If i were to leave this world. I would take with me a journey of love, determination, success, failure and acceptance. 23 years isn't long enough to understand most things. 23 years isn't long enough to pretend you've seen it all, or felt all there is to feel. 23 years is a tiny footstep compared to the journey of a wise man. But those 23 years have been my years. My 23 years of living. My 23 years of experiences. My choices, my set backs, my loves, my hates. I'm proud of my 23 years. They have made me the person I am today.

.... I look forward to see what the rest of my years bring. Because we won't be eaten by zombies or hit by a giant piece of the sun tomorrow. I was just being flouncy with my words. :)

Accept your life for what it has been. Each and everyone of us fights a battle. Some much larger than others. Some you can see, some you can't. There's people out there who fight a losing battle everyday and remain strong. Those of us who are lucky enough to have our health, including myself... must consider life as a blessing. Who know's when it will end.

Totally made myself feel sick with all the depressive crap. LOL.
Night

x